February 19, 2016 – The challenge every mother faces at some point

Now maybe this title is not fair.  Some history might help.  Number 1 son had been a forceps delivery but no other real complications. Number 2 child – the darling daughter had been an emergency c-section.  With each child for some reason I seemed to develop more and more asthma.  Some other weird autoimmune response I guess.  So when number 2 son was expected life got complicated.

First thing would be what the doctor said to me when I asked him if I could try and deliver this next baby naturally.  Hubby and I had done the whole Lamaze thing and wanted to try again for a natural delivery.  The dear doctor said to me “If you go into labor there is a chance you will tear open and both you and the baby will die”.  That was not a good thing to tell a woman who is two months pregnant.  I was a wreck. I had nightmares about dying, both of us, if I went into any kind of labor.  Then I asked if I could have one doctor who would follow me and know me and my issues.  Sounded good at the time I asked for it but in the end it added again to the stress.

This baby was not an easy pregnancy.  He tossed and turned and kicked and with two older siblings I was tired as well as having untreated hypothyroid disease.  Not sure how I had any of these kids at all actually.  One weekend in the fall my brother and his wife asked us if we would like to go on a Marriage Encounter weekend and a miracle happened – this painful pregnancy felt like nothing at all the entire weekend. The baby was calm and peaceful for the first time. It really felt like a miracle. And the weekend was good for hubby and I.

So Christmas and the baby were coming and I got asthmatic bronchitis.  I could hardly breathe and could not stop coughing and it was coming up on Christmas eve. I went to the Doctors and asked if we could have the baby that day.  They said “No, go home and take  these meds and we will bring you into the hospital on Dec 26 for a c-sec on Dec 27.”  It was a very long weekend and turns out the medications they gave me –  for example Codeine was not good for baby.  I was miserable.

When we showed up at the hospital on the 26th the Doctor I had been seeing weekly was not there.  They just looked at me and said too bad, he is tired after the weekend so someone else is going to deliver the baby.  I was fit to be tied and angry as could be. Not a good thing.  Because they were going to give me anesthesia they started me on an IV drug for the breathing.  Little did we know what that was going to do for our baby.  I should have sued the pants of all of them if I had been the person I am today but I was compliant.   So on the 27th we happily had our little guy.  He was cute little thing and we were happy that he was good.

I was on pain meds and IV asthma drugs.  My darling little guy would be brought into nurse and I would pass out or cough and cough.  He cried a lot and when they took him back to the nursery he was throwing up.  No one told us that right away.  At some point some nurse tried to suggest that the baby was allergic to my milk. I was so upset when I found out how  uncomfortable this darling little guy was.  Then something happened – the doctors actually read what the other doctors were giving me that was getting into the baby through my milk.  They stopped the poison they were giving me, discharged me and decided to keep the baby for observation.

So three times a day for almost a week we drove over to St. Clare’s Hospital so I could nurse my baby.  No one suggested that I not do this.  He was all alone in an empty room full of extra cribs on the peds floor.  It was a nightmare.  At home my parents had arrived to take care of the little kids and we were just trying to get by with the crazy schedule.  So finally baby came home.  The first few months were tough ones since every time he ate he threw up and cried and cried. He was hungry but also very unhappy with how my milk was making him feel. At least that is what we thought.  It finally subsided as I added more regular food into his diet.  He was sweet and funny.

So that was the start of this little guys life.  By age three it was obvious he was a survivor and some one to deal with. He would get something in his mind and not stop a bit until he accomplished it.  An example would be the fenced in play yard we made so he could dig in the dirt and play with his trucks and yet not wander all over. We could not contain him. I would look out and he would be gone and I would find him down the street with the “big” kids.  He was out of his crib before his sister who was 16 months older than he was.  And he loved to draw on the walls.  It was interesting keeping him occupied with things that he liked to do and keep him safe.

So that gives you a picture of this little kids personality.  He was a pip.  But what I want to talk about is how we gave him the freedom to pursue things that he really liked. At age 12 he wanted to get involved in politics.  Instead of setting something up for him I gave him the phone book and suggested he make some calls to find out what he could do to help on campaigns.   He did that and ended up working for the Democratic Party forever on campaigns all through his school years.  They also invited him to a boat cruise on the Mohawk with all the elected officials and those who would be running for office that fall. He loved it at age 12.  He had such passion for politics. I found something he wrote when he was about that age stating that his career goal was to be a journalist who worked on politics.

Once he went to college he continued to work in politics and did so until about two years ago.  He still writes and works in media but switched his focus after finding that being a dad and husband that the hours he was working were just hard on family life so he made a switch.  That has been good for  everyone in his life and for himself.

He is a person with a great deal of passion for anything he gets involved in.  I think all my children have that quality. But his passion is worn on his sleeve, much like his mothers. He is that way about his friends and his family history and things he values. He has a great sense of humor which can keep us in stitches at times.  He still has allergic reactions to various foods which have quite the effect on his moods but he is aware of the things that cause  reactions.  I love that he has passion and deep love for his wife and children.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s