January 18, 2015 – is it stress or what???? and more about sudden death.

I woke up this morning and felt just terrible.  Since returning from Ireland I have had a sinus infection and now a possible UTI. I mean really now, do you think stress could be causing all of this.  I just cannot seem to shake what ever is going on. Guess I better start taking vitamins eh?

Brick walls in genealogy are driving me crazy tonight. I have been tormented for years about Michael O’Connor the brother of my gr gr grandfather who is said to have lived in St. Lawrence County New York near Canton – Brasher Falls area.  For the life of me I can find no record of his ever having been there.  I think I shall have to take a trip to the NY State Archives to see if I can find him.  One of Daniel O’Connor – my gr gr grandfather’s daughter is said to have gone to stay with her aunt and uncle yet they are not in the census anywhere.  .And Mary, the daughter, met John Desmond there and married him.  She had a large family and many of those lines are still in St. Lawrence County.  I asked one of them to do some searching for me and she could find nothing.  Guess I will have to go and see if I can find some land records.. Frustrating for sure.

My brother wrote to me after I posted my memories of the day my dad died. Turns out he heard the news from my brother John who heard it from the next door neighbor and friend of my mom’s Guelda Sherman. For some reason my mom wanted to tell us herself and this was several hours after the others got their phone calls since we had not been at home at the time. It was very strange going home to a very neat, clean house, mom taking medication for the shock so she was pretty calm and the others there. We stayed with Denis’ Mom I think. Although I cannot be sure that is accurate either.  It was a very strange week. There was no wake and only my brother Jim went to the funeral home to see my dad before he was cremated. The memorial service was run by a friend of my Dad’s. My mom had not been able to reach the parish priest so no one from the church came to support her. That was terrible.  So there were poems about sailing, and memories by some of his friends and that is about all I remember. OH and the FBI sent two guys which was what they did when employees had a death in the family.  We were all wondering who the two guys in suits were. Not sure they ever really talked to my mom or anything. That was actually pretty funny.

About a year after Dad died my brothers and I started to talk about what the past year had been like and we all agreed it was surreal. Most of us had not seen Dad after he died, We had seen him about the time of their 40th wedding anniversary in August and they had come up to visit us and we took them out to dinner for Dad’s 65th birthday two weeks before he died.  The house always looked the same and since we grew up with a Dad who worked out of town a lot that was not unusual for us. Most of us had some kind of an emotional breakdown, not clinical, but a tearful day about a year after and figured about then it hit us all that in reality Dad had died and was not coming back.  We also learned from that experience the importance of telling people on a regular basis that you love them. You never know when your day is coming and just like the concept of never going to bed angry, the same for your other loved ones, let them know because they might be gone the next day.

I think if I can put it together tomorrow I will work on one of my stories although I am thinking about what it is like growing up as a princess. that is always fun for me.  Yes it is true.


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