April 8, 2019 – Looking Down the Road

When turning 70 I received a phone call from my brother Bill who is 3.5 years older than I.  It was an interesting discussion we had.  He asked me how I was feeling about turning 70 and I said not great.  It was what I thought of as an old age and not one to be overly happy about in spite of the folks who say things like “consider the options”.

Bill told me that on his 70th birthday he had thought of that day as very different from other birthdays.  Billy loves his trains and has for years had model train set-ups in his basement and in ours when we were kids.  So he used an analogy of a train moving down the tracks.  Former “big” birthdays he could see so much more coming down the tracks as he moved forward.  When he turned 70 for the first time he had a sense that there was an end to the line.  It was not dramatic but it was just this feeling that the trip was coming to an end at some point in the future.  He could not have defined my feelings better for me.

Each decade birthday has been different.  When 60 rolled around it was kind of exciting. Looking forward to retirement, travel, time with family and friends and happily being able to sleep in as much as I chose to.  50 was really fun. A friend at my work at the time at Samaritan Hospital said she loved turning 50. No longer thinking about if you look just right when you stepped out in the morning or going out to dinner.  After all, who was looking anyway? was how she put it.  And you just get to stop worrying about the future. The kids are either grown or almost there.  The job is what it is and you either hope to stay there until you retire or you can jump ship and find another job. She had an interesting view of life and I liked it.  It was going to be her time and I embraced that.  I did move on to one job from hell and then to a wonderful job and finally my dream job.  All that happened after age 50.

When I turned 40 they had I believe a surprise birthday party for me in the neighborhood which was a lot of fun.  But  40 had more going on than 50.  I saw myself as being tied down for another decade with kids, tight finances, and wondering what kind of job I could get. I was already working with kids for minimum wage or just above.  I liked the work but it was high school graduate pay and having a BA and almost a Masters I did not feel that education was worth anything.  But after my funk over that I ended up going back to college and getting a MA and it got me decent pay eventually and a great career that I will always be grateful for.  I am so thankful to Frank Doberman who was my guide in the second half of my life.  He sat a few of us down at work and said, “you all had degrees in the past but stayed home with children which was a good thing for you, but you are not going anywhere in these jobs. If you want advancement then you have to go back to school and get another degree” and to me personally he suggested I find something to do that was not kid oriented. He felt I had 4 high energy kids and needed more interaction with adults.  So that is what I did.  He helped me so much I can never forget him.

So as you get older folks, just know each decade brings with it new challenges and so much awareness it is almost scary at times.  This year turning 75 sends a strong message that if there are things I want to accomplish now is the time.  The day is going to arrive when my kids say to me, no more driving Mom, or that house is too much for you to handle.  I am going to have to be honest with myself about those statements.  My mother could not face what was happening to her and as a result we took over her life and she could not stop us.  I hope I don’t get dementia but one never knows what will happen. But I feel like I have to be prepared for the best and the worst.   Sound hard, sure it is but better to be realistic than to hide in our dreams of how we wish things were.  Celebrate being older, but do it with honesty..


February 12, 2018 -Make It Stop

I wonder every day why do I care about what is going on in this country and our community  with political people.   But unfortunately for me I do care.  I wish I could stop hearing about such corruption going on in Washington, the constant lies coming from the White House just make me so angry.  But what upsets me more is that people are not taking to the streets to say no more.  Why do we tolerate this bad behavior?

It was initially embarrassing to have a man like Trump in the White House.  During the campaign he showed that he had no respect for women, including his wives.  He did not care about people who worked for him and he cheated companies he hired to do work for him out of thousands of dollars.  Why would any one vote for a person like this?  And they continue to support him even when he lies about what he is doing.  No new wall has been built – he says there are miles of walls he built – and they believe him.   I cannot imagine being so gullible. I hope I may never be so easily fooled.

Locally at the town and county level the same things seem to go on.  A person can be shown to be not very honest or honorable and still be rewarded in many ways by the local party.  Makes me sad because the party I would be inclined to support, especially because of the national situation, cannot get my vote as long as they are like this little boys club.  I wonder if people in other small towns and counties have the same situation? How do you cope with it.

I just had to laugh. Was watching Louis Gates and he had on three politicians. The two men talked about the beauty of this country welcoming people coming here because of terrible situations in the countries they come from.  (their family’s) I had to yell at the TV and say what is welcoming about how you separated children from their parents and now cannot find them to rejoin them?  Or the families locked up in camps when in the past those coming and asking for help were given court dates which almost 100% came for and were allowed to go and join their family members already here.  These men had nothing good to say in their political roles about immigrants and those coming due to war and famine – like their ancestors did.   Just hypocrisy.

Oh well, I just needed to vent as I do almost every day.  Today seemed to put me over the top when I heard him say the wall just needs to be finished.  Not a brick has been put in a piece of wall… Go figure….

September 4, 2018 – Getting Older

Every day something reminds me of my age.  Aches, forgetfulness, people saying things to make sure I remember how old I am, and just looking in the mirror.

But you know what? It is all a state of mind.  For years I have worked to remind myself that in my mind I am 24 years old.  That was not a bad year. And every day lately I remind myself of all the years I missed when I had raging untreated hypothyroid.  Now those are years I would like to not have lived through.  They were tough for sure.

Retirement, well, it has its positives and negatives.  Often I think I will go out and apply for a job because I like the structure of working.  Working in a small store would be great fun. That is something I totally can do.  But then I like to travel with the boy friend, I love going to Europe. I could not do that if I worked full time so can that idea.  I am pretty sure I am ADD which explains my lack of organization and the chaos that surrounds me at times. But turns out I can do a great job organizing a trip for the two of us using my cheapness to find good buys and fun places to stay. So work is a non-starter.

I love living in two different countries and if I could figure it out I would add Ireland to that list and divide up the year between Canada, US and Ireland. The School House is wonderful because there is not a lot of excess stuff here which I find reduces stress and work.  If I could be here long enough I would sign up for exercise classes but lately it seems I get almost no exercise up here.  Swimming in the river does not appeal to me. And the heat this summer has reduced me to doing a lot of reading, puzzles and not moving too much.

Even if we had been home or in Ireland this summer it would have been unbearably hot. I wish I would not think that it is global climate change but I fear it is and that this is our future. Warmer and Warmer summers.  Yuck!!!!!

Anyway, back to aging.  I figure at this point we are on a time line and we need to accomplish as much as possible before we hit 80.  Go and see the countries we have longed to see. Visit the people we have promised visits to over the years all over the world. Find a way to bring all of our extra kids together again for a big celebration of life. Those exchange students enhanced our lives so much. They helped our kids make connections for life with some wonderful people. And I got an extra daughter out of it. It would be fun to have them all together at one time. And then there are the 19 wonderful students who went to Ireland with us.  I love seeing what they are doing with their lives. I wish women had had the opportunities that the young women of today have.

Am I rambling, sure why not. Age brings with it opportunities.  So if you are thinking you are getting old, change your thinking.  I am still perfecting myself, living my dreams, enjoying life, and trying to give back as much as I can for the opportunities I have been given.

September 3, 2018 – Why Vote, Why Care

I live in two different communities in two different countries.  I love both places although one a little bit more than the other.  That is just to set the picture straight.  What I see in both places in the last few years is almost a mirror of each other in politics.  Instead of two locals running against each other for the betterment of the community there are people running to feed their own egos and enrich themselves.  Not on both sides but locally here there is a man running who has been fined for his bad behavior and he is disrespectful of anyone who disagrees with him.  His ego is so big it is unreal.

Nationally both Canada and the USA seem to be going down parallel paths.  On Facebook I get lots of “fake” information about the party in power in Canada and about the liberals in the US. I see people in office who want to take apart everything that is good about each country as well as dividing people by religion, race, anything they can think of to divide.  I pray about it sometimes and wishing God would send a message to us all.  I hear people speaking out about these terrible things that are going on. An evangelical scientist who very calmly explains why climate change is real,  a large group of students from Florida who are asking everyone to get out and vote and speak your mind.  I see so many women running for office at the local, state and national level – saying no more will I sit back and watch all that is going on.  Maybe that is a message from God. Listen folks, I have empowered these young people, people of color and women to speak out for what is right.

I am going home this week to get more involved in the political side of things. During the last election I spoke out by writing about my concerns. Now it is time for me to step up to another level.  Locally there are no elections this year but I intend to speak out about what I see happening all around me. I hope other people will be stepping up as well.

Why do I care? I care about my children, grandchildren and gr grandchild. I care about the planet, about the water we love to drink, the food we hope is not going to harm us and that everyone deserves medical care. I cry for those people who may never see their children again because of our mean spirited president.  NO, I won’t be a good little girl and keep my mouth shut.



November 3, 2017 – When Fear Controls Us Into Complicity

This local election season in Niskayuna has taught me a lot about people in my community and those who work or are active in the town.  Many of them over these last few years have been driven by fear.  Sounds pretty strange for your basic upper to average middle class community. But it is true.

Last weekend one of the Democratic candidates for town board brought her family to meet me.  She wanted me to know what a great family she has and that she is a good person.  It was really strange to the people who were with me and who asked me what it was all about.  What she does not realize is that I know she is a good person, I know she does lots of good things for our community but none the less she has been complicit in ignoring or allowing the Town Supervisor to do some pretty questionable things.  And if she really did not know then why did she not know? Not just her but the other Board members as well. I know at least two of the other members and they are good people. I like them but either they were blind or this guy really had them under this thumb.

I realized the other day that much of the complicity of the folks who might have been able to put a stop to this was fear.  “Will I lose the backing of the party if I want to run again?” “Will my wife lose her job that I just got her or my son or my husband if I speak up?”  “Will there be retribution against me if I speak up after being forced out of my job?” (Mailboxes being ploughed over, a sudden rise in just my taxes, picky fines etc)

Fear is a terrible thing.  The newspaper has spoken to many of the people who lost their jobs and they give info but don’t want to be personally interviewed, because they are afraid.  Current employees also have talked privately about what is going on in Town Hall. But you will never get them to speak on the record. They are afraid.

As for me, yes I suppose there is anxiety and fear at some level.  I know a lot of people and I get a lot of messages and emails from folks sharing more about what they hear about.  All I have done is ask questions and encourage them to speak out.

I want to know why the wives of two town board members were hired to work at the Senior Center?   Why were the staff who were professionals harrassed into leaving? Where was their supervision if they were not doing what was expected of them? Why was a clerk over the period of a brief couple of years turned into a Deputy Town Supervisor?  What is her relationship with the Town Supervisor? Why in God’s name would the Town Supervisor not put a light up for the Court Staff and instead lock the door so they could not go out their door and had to walk by the folks they had just sentenced in court?   Sounds like one angry guy to me.

People have asked me why I am speaking out. Well, if you want to know it is because if one of those running for office had called me the first time I asked I would have had my answers. But no instead they tried to quiet me.  Sorry, my genetics does not allow for that to happen. There is something very wrong in our town and there needs to be change.  I was talking to my neighbor yesterday and he laughed at the signs for Ms. Syed on my front lawn.  I laughed to since I have never in my life put up political signs and since I absolutely dislike the current national administration it seems counter intuitive for me to be voting Republican. But there needs to be change in this town and many people I talk to see the need for that change.

But if we do get change the first thing that needs to happen is some healing for the Town Employees and some sense of respect and honor to replace the fearful atmosphere.

November 2, 2017 – What Makes Me Tick?

Recently I found out a person I care a great deal about had left a job with the town I was stunned.  This was an important job and this person really loved it.  I checked in and when I was told what had happened my jaw dropped.    Then I found out there was a group of women who had all been harassed out of their jobs.  Since I did not know most of them I reached out and talked to them and was shocked.  They each had a terrible story to tell.

In recent years voting for Democrats has been a norm for me especially since the Tea Party came to life.  But after talking to numerous people I decided to support the Republican candidate in my town.  In addition, when a discussion began on a neighborhood site I spoke out.  Many people were upset about retribution against the Town Court staff after they filed a complaint about not having a light outside the court door when they left late in the evening.  Then again people were upset with a nasty political flyer which suggested that the young woman running on the Republican line was racist.

When I got home from vacation I found that the staff of the Senior Center had been replaced with wives of Town Board members. When I inquired about their credentials I found they have none.   They are trying but really? The Board could not find professionals for those positions?

A call came to me recently suggesting that maybe I was representing one of the many organizations I belong to when I was speaking out.  That was totally false since politics has never come up with those folks. But as a result of that call I spent a few days examining my conscience.  What is driving me to care about this negative behavior and these frightened ex-employees?

I spent a few days off thinking about where my passion for defending those who are afraid to defend themselves come from. The following will explain where my passion comes from.


First, I realized that Catholic social teaching is my first influence.  Since the late 1970’s I have been involved in various organizations in my Church which promote Catholic Church social justice teachings.  So I guess you could say St. Kateri’s Church is one of my great influences and our current Pope Francis. Based on the teachings in the New Testament I believe that all people should be treated with respect and dignity. And those in charge with the power have an obligation to treat their workers well.  And when those in the community realize that those in power are abusing that power and abusing their workers they are obligated to speak up.  And if you work in a situation where abuse is going on you have an obligation to speak up.  That appears not to be the case in our town. Our Town Board has sat back and allowed the Supervisor to act out against various employees over the last few years and have not said a word.

Secondly, I have a genetic predisposition to speaking out when there is abuse or injustice.  Now please don’t laugh but I have grandparents on all sides who would not tolerate injustice.  First I had thought about James Vint Laughland. My Grandfather who fought in England for dock workers rights and other labor rights in the 1920’s.  Then in the US he worked for the laborers who were out of work during the depression, setting up sites where trades people could exchange work for food, or other needs. This helped people to feed their families until things got better. He is a very strong role model in my life.. He was so passionate that the Unitarian Church would not let him preach.

Then there is my Irish side.  All the way back to the 1830s my O’Connor grands were not afraid to speak out.  Daniel was the first who was known in his community as a person others would come to to as an impartial judge to settle disagreements. This as a Catholic in a primarily Protestant community.  Then his son, Charles, when the priest told him he should not be attending the funerals, weddings etc of his neighbors in Protestant churches, informed the Priest that these were the members of his community that he depended on and who depended on him to support each other during the good times and bad.

Recently I learned that my Grandfather was called in by the Archbishop who told him to stop my mother from marrying my father because it was not good example for a community leader to allow his daughter to marry the son of a protestant Minister.  My Grandfather thanked the Bishop for his opinion and told him that they could always arrange for his daughter to be married in another place.  I was so proud when I heard this.

So, even though under the current political climate in this country at this time I have decided I will be voting for the Republican candidate and her team.  I was fortunate recently to meet Ms Syed and found her to be open and honest and aware of all the bad things that had been happening in our town.  And  I will speak out because I am speaking for myself and my first amendment right to speak out.  The efforts of the other side to try and silence me is offensive.  If they want to get someone to get me to stop speaking they probably should be talking to the folks at St. Kateri’s. They are the organization that leads me to act.

I doubt even then if I would change my position.  I once worked for a bully who everyone was scared of because they were afraid of retribution if they spoke up.  It took me a couple of months to get out of that job but what I did learn was that those beneath who stayed or had been there a long time had adopted his attitude in order to keep their jobs. They were all complicit in allowing his terrible behavior to continue. I refused to work in that setting any longer than I had to.

That is what moves me to speak out.



August 29, 2017 – More Trump Agony

The US is in the middle of a huge crisis.  Trump came out and said everyone would be back to normal quickly because that is how he does things  I wonder if after seeing the area today he will still want to say that?  I heard one woman interviewed who had been through Katrina and now is suffering from Henry.  Her comment was that the man had no idea of what he is he talking about.  This is not going to be fixed any time soon.

When is he going to use his speech writers? My son was a speech writer for Mayors and Governors and would tell us about the hours spent getting it just right.  How to make the boss look good but also make the people respond positively. It is an art and those leaders also knew they needed to pay attention and use those words.  This man does not have a clue.  People in Texas and Louisiana do not need a political speech today. They need compassion and caring, not false promises. I hope he comes through for them but I fear he will only disappoint.

And just last week he signed a change in policy around flood plains and restrictions and protections.  So next time it floods anywhere and the protections are not there you will all know who to thank.

Was also wondering what 40 to 50 inches of rain would look like at my winter house? I have always thought that because we are higher than the house behind us and the road we would be okay in a flood. If the power went out we would suffer basement flooding but that would happen on a good day if the power went out. Here we are up a hill but even that might not protect us and we would be trapped for a good while if the roads washed out.  Good reason to have a stash of emergency foods. things that don’t need to be refrigerated – nuts, juices, dry cereal etc.

Summer is coming to an end and I will be back in TV land again.  We were discussing whether we could not watch as much TV when we are back home.  I tried to do that before but I have doubts if I can do it.  Every morning I enjoy listening to the morning news on the radio and then the Roundtable also on radio.  And since retiring I have made a rule not to watch TV before 5 pm. With dinner that delayed it even later.  Since the election I have seen those rules slipping away.  How can one not be tuned in to the next disaster? Everyday something seems to happen to increase stress and concern.  North Korea shooting off missiles.  Policies that help people, like safe water, disappearing.  And more stupid statements on Twitter.  God help us!

What I cannot seem to control is the increase in swearing that I seem to be doing.  I think my kids must be shocked at my language although maybe not. When I worked in Detox I learned to say a bunch of swear words I had never in my life used.  But this has been ridiculous.  I might say “what an A-Hole” but then it always turns into “a f-ing A-H”. When is this going to stop!  I just want to scream and hit my head against the wall. But I promise I won’t do that.

It was lovely and sunny out five minutes ago so I wanted to finish this and go outside and read. After two hours of grant writing, and the time to write this reading my current book would be nice.  But darn the clouds are there again. Guess I will make lunch and read inside. Darn!

Owe at least two of you an apology. I accidentally deleted your comments. This computer is touchy and the cursor jumps all over the place and I was writing to Maureen Cochran (sp) and all of a sudden my comment and hers were gone as well as the one above it shoot.  Thanks for the kind comments both of you. Never sure if anyone really enjoys it so glad to hear.